PARADOXICAL

The faith chronicles

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

 


True and False Humility


A casual comment about humility made me review what it means to be humble. If there’s something called “false humility,” maybe there’s also something called “true humility”?


This is what I learned from a talk (sourced from ALNP):


One’s humility may actually be a case of low self-esteem or lack of self-confidence. Manifestations of this form of masquerade are the ff.:


1. Putting oneself down, like the thought of not being liked

2. Timidity and shyness, as in the fear of speaking to superiors

3. Insecurities, as in the inability to take correction or input, or the inability to receive love or encouragement; both of which can be a motive for intense ambition

4. Self-pity, which can cause real depression in a person


Low self-esteem or an unhealthy lack of confidence may result in relationship difficulties, eating disorders, even sexual difficulties.


The following are the roots of low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence.


1. Lack of affection, personal attention, or affirmation in the early years. This can be healed through good relationships later in life.

2. Trauma in one's life whether physical or verbal. When too serious, this may need professional counseling.

3. The world's overemphasis on beauty and physical appearance. This may be related to a lack of knowledge about one's worth (i.e., in the eyes of God).

4. Active work of the evil spirits.

5. Wrong understanding of humility.


False humility is:


1. The refusal to recognize and accept exactly who we are, both in strengths and weaknesses.

2. A wrong understanding of the context of humbling oneself for the sake of unity.


True humility means taking on the mind of a servant for unity. It considers others deserving to be served by us. The opposite of true humility is selfishness - self-seeking, selfish ambition, and conceit - doing things to attract attention.


True humility is having true image of oneself. It is thinking with sober/reasonable/sensible/clear-headed judgment, not making an inflated or deflated opinion of oneself. In this regard, the truths that help maintain sober judgment of oneself may help: the truth of our creatureliness (small before God, dependent on Him) and the truth of our real value in God's sight.


There are strategies to overcome low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence.


1. Acknowledge the problem and you become more free.

2. Turn away from (repent of) the behavior that fosters the problem. Actively turn away from the lies about yourself.

3. Live in the truth about your self-esteem and self-confidence.

4. Receive encouragement and affirmation from others.

5. Relate to others as someone willing to be of service.


Believe that everyone God created is capable of anything. Each may be gifted in one thing or the other, yet if we really believe every word of God, then we can do anything possible, through God's grace.



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